34 Comments
User's avatar
Christabel Amu's avatar

I always do this stuff and then I'd end up wallowing in self-pity. I genuinely felt this on another level, especially the letter you wrote to your ex-best friend, who left you for people you introduced he/she to. That's just so... painful.

Expand full comment
L.'s avatar

It was indeed and I suffered it when I had to, I feel sometimes wallowing in self-pity is necessary to get over some situations. Although you cannot let it stay for long. I'm so glad my words resonated with you!

Expand full comment
User's avatar
Comment removed
May 10
Comment removed
Expand full comment
Liz's avatar

get a life

Expand full comment
Christabel Amu's avatar

I don't think so, what makes you think it is?

Expand full comment
Hope and Healing's avatar

I always used to write letters that I wouldn’t send, but recently I wrote an email that I decided to actually send. A letter of gratitude, and in a way it was healing for me. I don’t expect a response and I know not everyone agrees with my decision, but sometimes it’s the way to honor what once was even if it is no longer. Maybe everyone differs in what he or she would do.

Expand full comment
Hope and Healing's avatar

I don’t know who needs to read this, but 2 months ago I received a handwritten response to the email that I sent. She replied with such grace and appreciation for my boldness. It was my ex boyfriend’s mother, but it made me feel seen and appreciated unlike the way I was treated by her son. We shared a tender moment in our communication to each other. I’m so glad I chose to reach out. Hope this is encouraging to someone out there.

Expand full comment
Kerry's avatar

I am grieving someone I never had. I did not get the ending that I wanted. I truly am trying to move forward with grace. This hits hard. Well done.

Expand full comment
User's avatar
Comment removed
May 10
Comment removed
Expand full comment
Liz's avatar

get a life

Expand full comment
Epiphany's avatar

I hate this because it hit so deep but that’s what also makes me love it 😥

Expand full comment
User's avatar
Comment removed
May 10
Comment removed
Expand full comment
Liz's avatar

get a life... you sucker...

Expand full comment
Christine's avatar

Bittersweet but a wondrous articulation of what it means to be human, that not every wound closes the way you hoped😞 We can only hope that we continue to do the luminous work of seeing others with a bit more clarity each day 💞

Expand full comment
rewsnatcerroc's avatar

ah this opens up old wounds but it's bittersweet. closure is a myth to me and the only way further is forward. sometimes talking about what couldve been done or said would brought tears to my eyes and i'd do anything to not cry over it. thankyou for this and sending you lots of hugs<3

Expand full comment
Lily's avatar

This was a slap in the face. It was so accurate, so precise, so well written. Thank you for sharing these words with us.

The feeling when you go from friends to strangers, the feeling of thinking "they never cared as much as i did" or even the feeling of hate you have looking at yourself and still missing those times: i just can relate it so much, it made me wanna cry

Expand full comment
sad girl chronicles's avatar

the paragraph in the post script. i saw myself in every line. this is beautiful thank you for sharing ♡

Expand full comment
Consuelo Ruybal's avatar

As someone whose finger is hovering over the send button right now, I needed to read this. Your post is saved now, and I will probably have to refer back to it over the next few months.

Expand full comment
Nadella's avatar

This hits way too deep (i hate pain)

Expand full comment
User's avatar
Comment removed
May 10
Comment removed
Expand full comment
Liz's avatar

get a life... you sucker...

Expand full comment
Gray's avatar

its sad that those unsaid thoughts are hidden away and will keep us bothered for a long time thinking if it is really the right decision, to chose not to send/said it right away.

Expand full comment
nbarrier's avatar

I went on a date with someone I thought I had connection with but turns out he was emotionally unavailable guy. And he ghosted me afterwards and I couldn’t stop thinking about what I did wrong. It really messed me up 4 months later slowly but surely I’m forgetting about him.

Expand full comment
Ola's avatar

My favorite thing about substack is no matter how messy and insane and maddening what ever you are going through is, someone bares resemblance and someone words will comfort you.

Expand full comment
Aarohee's avatar

heavy therefore beautiful

Expand full comment
Layla John Paige's avatar

Loved this a lot

Expand full comment
Obil's avatar

Painfully relatable

Expand full comment